The Little Things

Song of Solomon 2:15

The Little Foxes

   I imagine that you have already read or heard commentaries surrounding this verse which apply the concept to our spiritual lives, as well as to marriage. Generally, the little foxes signify the small things that eat away at our vineyard and before we know it, the vineyard has been destroyed. Many of us have learned through experience, and especially through this pandemic, the weighty truth that life is short and we don’t want any of those little foxes to destroy even a moment of our time with those we love.

   We have been given a clear reminder of the call to love our neighbors, and a vivid experience of who our closest neighbors are. It’s one thing to love God, Whom we can’t see, and our virtual neighbors across the miles, yet quite another to love our closest neighbors with genuine I-Corinthians-13-love-is-a-verb kind of love. And, we can’t get a much closer neighbor than our spouse. 

   Couples around the globe are discovering that, in these times of unexpected extended time together, the days can have alooooot of moments in them…….Some may relate to the cat memes where the cat is not pleased that this human is spending so much time in its domain. Some relate to the dog memes where the dog is convinced that heaven has come down to earth and each day is the best day ever with its human in the house. Perhaps this foreshadowing, or fore-lightening, of what retired life might look like together has been a wee bit o’ both with opportunities to see the truth in the words that, “marriage is God’s I confess that, though I don’t always welcome it, I could always use a bit of sanding.

   How do we let God sand off our own rough edges?  I am not an expert, but I have learned a few things. On April 28, 2020, Lloyd and I celebrated the anniversary of 36 years of wedded joy. Wedded joy does not mean that we have forever floated on clouds of bliss, nor does it mean that we haven’t had some hard situations and seasons that have left us feeling as if we had walked for miles barefoot on sharp gravel. It does mean that God has been faithful to answer the wedding prayer we offered, and to teach us, moment by moment, how to fulfill the vows we made 36 years ago. 

Paper Anniversary 

   For our first anniversary, I had our prayers and vows calligraphed on paper. For 35 years, these have been on our walls in our bedrooms wherever we have lived.  

         

   There have been days when I looked at them and knew I was falling quite short on my end. Days when I wished Lloyd would kick it up a few notches. But mostly moments when I have been moved to joy and gratitude for God’s faithfulness to watch us, guide us and counsel us.

   If I had to choose the part of our vows where God has most faithfully led us it would be, “I will cherish you as my blessed gift from God all the days of my life.”  The potent point in what Our Good Shepherd has taught us is in this area is to be willing to broaden our perspective.

Perspective 

   Perspective is defined as: “the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance.”  Years of joy come from moments of seeing, from God’s perspective, the little foxes that ruin the vineyard, and following Him as He guides us to cherish His gift to us, and to do the little things to keep the vineyard in blossom. 

   Please know that I am not unaware that for some, the foxes are not little and it feels more like unrelenting forces have moved through the vineyard.  If this is the situation, O, dear ones, may The Holy Spirit give you wisdom, and strengthen you for your next steps. This collection of thoughts is for those who are dealing with little foxes.

   I hesitate to write further because when I start to divulge how we have learned to cast out those little foxes, I will have to reveal to you what some of those little foxes look like. The image of us as perfect people will dissipate as a mist. You might also find us a bit odd and quirky after you read this, so, from here on out, whatever I say about my husband is strictly confidential.

   The first thing is that Lloyd would actually wear wrinkled shirts. No kidding. He will hold up a shirt and say, “It doesn’t look so bad.” Can’t he see what I see? I’m an ironer. My grandma was a professional ironer, my mom is an ironer. It’s in my DNA. This means that I cannot bear wrinkly clothes on my husband. It also means I regularly iron Lloyd’s shirts. I had a few moments when I was tempted to feel annoyed by this time-consuming activity. Faithfully, and thankfully, The Holy Spirit gave me eyes to see. I realized that it was my need for unwrinkled shirts that put me in this situation. I had to own it. Now as I iron the sleeves, I thank God for the man who hugs me with those arms. 

   The Holy Spirit gives me similar insight when I see dozens of whiskers on the sink every time Lloyd shaves. My response, every time I wipe them off is, “Thank you so much God that Lloyd is here to leave his whiskers on the sink.”  I have to choose to do this every time because whiskers are pesky every time. It is a very constant, blessed and welcomed reminder to cherish my beloved gift from God.

Messages

   Another thing Lloyd does is he leaves those little green flosser things all over the house. Now, this one was getting annoying, because I am an ardent believer and practioner of the highly logical concept of “A place for everything, and everything in its place.” Before you start to think I am OCD, I must let you know I can refute that idea with data I have collected, color coded and organized in a file. Anyway, The Holy Spirit nudged me with perspective about those green things and I told Lloyd how much I appreciated finding these reminders around the house that he is here and he loves me. The number of left out green flosser things has declined even without me asking, and I still get the message that he loves me.

   Another thing he did for a while was leave empty toilet paper tubes around. Not in the garbage can or the recycle bin. Just around. The first time this happened, I thought it was just an oversight, but after 5 such oversites, I was seeing a pattern. I was tempted to be irritated, but The Holy Spirit gave me that nudge of perspective again. So, I drew a smiley face on a tube that still had a bit of white paper on it and I put it in Lloyd’s coat pocket. The next day, I found it in my shoe. For almost a year, we found clever places to put Mr.TP Tube until one of us hid it so cleverly that we can’t find it and can’t remember who hid it last. I replaced it with a leftover leprechaun from St. Patrick’s Day, which we now leave in various places.

 

  One other thing Lloyd does is that he stops the microwave before it actually finishes its time. He says that he doesn’t want to hear the ding at the end. I suppose that I cannot assume that his aversion for hearing the ding is equal to, or greater than, my aversion for the uncouthness of it all. We have a microwave which has a vent at the top that opens when it is on. This is terribly untidy in my point of view AND, the poor thing is stuck in stasis with flashing lights and a pitiful question mark wondering if it should start. But, with perspective, I can see that dinging could possibly be worse than this, so whenever I find the microwave in this condition, I thank Lloyd for leaving me his message, in special code, that he loves me.  

Open Doors   

   Another thing about Lloyd is that it doesn’t actually bother him to leave closet and cupboard doors open. I mentioned it to him a few times, but to no avail. One day after many times of going to the kitchen and having to close a cupboard door, I decided it was more than pretty pesky. I was about to say so, again, when again I got that perspective nudge from The Holy Spirit. I devised a plan. That night, right before I went to bed, I opened all of the cupboards and drawers.

   I left this note on one of them, kind of my special code to him.  

 

   I will tell you one last thing about Lloyd. He has a rather cluttery garage. He has things in there that he has saved and packed through our many years and many moves together. I suppose I have a few teacher things and remnants of fabric that could be in the same category, but mine are, after all, organized in plastic boxes and labeled in the attic. To me, the garage is an extension of the house so I really itch to get out there and tidy that thing up. It had been quite a sore spot for me.

  Here is where The Holy Spirit had to do more than nudge me to practice His fruit. When I started to look through His lens at my husband, this is what I saw. Every time Lloyd might have had even a few hours to tidy up the garage, someone – even sometimes I- would request his help with something. Being the generous man that he is, he would give up his plans in order to help others, thus giving up his window to tidy the garage.

  The other truth I saw was that my dear husband thinks like an engineer and he has all of those things in the garage because each one has the potential of being the special part that will make his idea for a great solution to something work just right. This actually happened a few weeks ago. A very small thing that he had protected for many years was just the right thing to perfect a great idea. We did a happy dance together!  I love, and benefit from, his engineer brain.

The Big Thing

   The big thing is that I would rather have Lloyd, my cherished gift from God, alive and well and helping people and engineering fascinating solutions, than a tidy garage. Living in a vineyard means that little foxes will have their eyes on our sweetest fruit. 

   How grateful I am that the Vinedresser gives us the capacity to view things in the true relations and relative importance that we need in order to see those foxes for what they are; that He infuses us with, and teaches us to use, the nourishment we receive from His fruit to cast out those foxes and protect our blossoms.  God is truly faithful to teach us how to I-Corinthians-13-love-is-a-verb kind of love one another.  As we learn from Him, little things, and little moments, become joyful years.

 

 

Resources 

 

Amplified Bible (AMP)

Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631. All rights reserved.https://genius.com/John-denver-today-lyricshttps://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/perspective?src=search-dict-hed

Today (song written by Randy Sparks)  © 1965 
 https://johndenver.com/tracks/today-2/