Lá fhéile Pádraig sona dhaoibh!” “Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you!”I have been pondering this letter for almost two years now. I am astonished when I see how much time has gone by since I first began pondering. Through the seasons, it has tried to be a Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and New Year’s letter. I find it most fitting that now it is a St. Patrick’s Day letter for he is one of my greatest heroes. As is William Wilberforce, but that is for another letter. St. Patrick’s Love for God and for people was the driving force of every step he took. In this letter I’ll be sharing a bit of his story, a bit of my story.
It has taken me so long because it just seems like so many words are spoken and written these days that I have a hard time thinking mine are worth the effort it will take you to read them. I do hope that they are. I know I could post on Facebook or some other social media platform, and ask for your forgiveness for not being a good communicator on those platforms. Not wanting to sound like a curmudgeon, I will admit I have avoided social media as much as possible. I think I have “send-sensitivity” and “post-paralysis.” Sending or posting my words out there to clutter up cyberspace is a scary thought to me. To write a letter that will clutter up your counter space is a little less scary. So, by sending this letter, I am inviting myself into your kitchen to give you a hug and share with you some thoughts about the Hope I kneel before each morning and night, and the Love that guides me in between. In a world where thousands of words and images litter the streets of our minds and hearts, where do we as humans start as we try to sift through it all? I always find myself right back at the familiar words, “In the beginning….” I can think of no other source that is as life-giving as God’s Love Letter to us. In my years of study, I still have not scratched the surface of the beauty and profound mystery of The Creator’s words to His beloved creatures. Within those words, there is hope, joy and life that stand against the hopelessness, sorrow and the shadow of death we see and hear and feel incessantly advertised around us. There are far too many beautiful words in His letter to choose just a few, but if I had to choose, these words show forth the seeming paradox of the Most Powerful, Tender Being that exists. Psalm 62:11-12:
God has spoken once, Twice I have heard this:
That power belongs to God
Also to You, O Lord, belong lovingkindness and compassion.Daily we are given opportunities to witness the great power and the gentle love of The Creator. This is something
St. Patrick learned and lived. At the age of sixteen, he was seized by pirates, taken from his home and sold as a slave to Miliucc, for whom Patrick became a shepherd. Hunger and harshness were his primary companions for six years. But, he found another companion. As a young man of comfort in Briton, Patrick admitted that he really didn’t believe in God. As a slave in severity in the hills of Ireland, he found the spirit within himself awakened. He described God as being his very source of life to Whom he prayed 100 times through the desolate days, and 100 times again through the bleak night watches.
During one of those night watches, Patrick was urged in a dream to go out to a ship that would carry him home. He walked many miles to the sea, and found the ship as he had been told. He boarded the ship and sailed home. Patrick soon discovered that home was no longer home. He continued to find his only comfort in his Shepherd and applied himself to further know Him. Later, through another dream, Patrick was called to return to Ireland. This time he sailed to its shores willingly, embraced Ireland as his true home, loved its people fiercely, and revealed the passionate love of God to them. As he walked the Emerald Isle, he saw the power of God in creation and the compassion of God in redemption. In his Confessio St. Patrick wrote, “That is why I must shout aloud in return to the Lord for such great good deeds of his, here and now and forever, which the human mind cannot measure” (Confessio, 12 ).
This powerful, compassionate Lord who deeply loves each of his children can be a difficult truth for us to wrestle through and receive. Often people ask the question, “If God is so good, then why…?” There are no trite phrases that can be written on a board and hung on a wall to explain and tidy up this and other questions. But some words were written in the ancient book of Mathew which reveal the character of God:
When Jesus came down from the mountain, large crowds followed Him. And a leper came up to Him and bowed down before Him, saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You are able to make me clean.” Jesus reached out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed.”
Leprosy is a devastating disease. In ancient cultures, people who were infected had to live outside of the community and were not permitted to interact in any way with people who were not infected. Lepers were to make their presence known by shouting ,“Unclean!” It’s not hard to imagine that the questions he had and the experience of being flung aside by people, and seemingly by God, were eating away the man’s heart and soul, even as the disease ate away his flesh. Yet, his desire for wholeness was so great that he propelled himself through the crowds he was forbidden to touch, flung himself at the feet of Jesus, and begged to be made clean. Jesus could have healed the man from far away with a simple word. Instead, Jesus willingly reached out and touched the leper. The word willing signifies, “ready, eager, or prepared to do something.” The leper’s need for the touch of a human hand, from a heart of compassion that would draw him back into the community of the living, was eagerly met by Jesus in one mighty and merciful action.
The lives of St. Patrick, and others who have forged ahead of us on the adventure of living, can illuminate the awareness in our spirits of our longing for this personal touch and for wholeness. For some it is tucked very far way, for others it’s right at the surface. Wherever it is, that is our Creator calling our name. And in the questions that come with our wrestling to respond, there is this answer: Emmanuel. God with us. And the reason He willingly wrapped Himself in skin, the garment of humanity, and washed our feet and allowed nails to be driven through His.
I was recently asked, “What if it’s all a lie? What if you die and find out this whole thing about God wasn’t real?” To which I can only say, “The companionship that I, small sheep that I am, have known on this earth with the Good Shepherd has been so real that even if I find I have believed in vain, I will not find I lived in vain.”
I can’t begin to compare my life with that of St. Patrick, still I feel resonance with his spirit. I was captured by the inexplicable beauty of the world around me in all its complexity and I knew at my very core that there was a loving Creator who was calling my name and that I wanted to know this Creator. As a little girl, not knowing how to engage in dialogue with a remarkably powerful and creative force, I started my version of the “100 times” by writing letters in my mind and have just kept going. “Dear God, Thank You for the pine trees and the mountains. You are real. I just know it. Teach me about You…Thank You for the simple dandelion that blows away by our breath. How ingenious…I am a thimble and You are an ocean, I can’t comprehend You or contain You, but I will spend my life trying… Dear God, as we walk this adventure together, please give me ears to hear Your voice, and Your eyes and heart to see and love the people You have made.”
Several years ago I was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. In the journey that led to that diagnosis, and in the continued walk thereafter, I have lost track of how many doctor and hospital visits, needles, tubes, procedures of every sort, tests of every sort, X-rays, infections, medication experiments and reactions, and cycles of malnutrition and starvation I have experienced over the years. With every experience, I have seen facets of God’s character that I would not have known otherwise. His word is my manna. His joy, my strength. His presence, my life-source. I am grateful for reminders of how fragile we are, for in them I have also been repeatedly reminded that we are not alone in this fragility. Sometimes I could feel His presence so strongly that it was palpable. Sometimes, it was as a faint reassurance. Always He has been there. As huge as it is to fathom, my tiny, simple life has known the touch of the most powerful and eminently compassionate Being in the universe.
Inspired by the courage of St. Patrick, a monk named Dallan Forgaill wrote the Irish poem, “Rop tú mo Baile” which was translated by Mary Byrne in 1912, and became the song, Be Thou My Vision. These ancient words, first penned, or plumed, somewhere between the 6th and 8th centuries, run in my mind and spirit like a current throughout my days.
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art;
Thou my best thought by day and by night,
Waking and sleeping, Thy presence my light.
The essence of this presence, this light, is revealed in these words from Hebrews 1:3
He is the sole expression of the glory of God, the Light-being, the out-raying, the radiance of the divine, and He is the perfect imprint and very image of God’s nature, upholding and maintaining and guiding and propelling the universe by His mighty word of power.
To misquote a well-worn meme, God is: PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER 
Elena graduated with high honors from Aveda Cosmetology Institute and is going to rock the world with her gifts and talents. She can do it all, hair, nails, eyelashes, manis and pedis, etc.. If you live in Utah, she’s working as a stylist for the Aveda Grassroots Salon in Layton and would enjoy the opportunity to share her gifts with you.
Jeremiah continues to write stories that should end up on the New York Times Best sellers list. He has painted, and is painting, most of the walls and trim in our house. He enjoys our church community, and they him. He is also part of a cohort that plays Magic the Gathering.
I have been blessed to teach for a season at Davidson Green School. I’m studying Biblical Hebrew in seminary and definitely feeling like a thimble.
ChapstiQue likes it here amongst the wildlife of NC and greatly enjoys chasing squirrels. Though I’m not sure he would know what to do if he ever caught one.
Indeed, if you haven’t heard, we live in North Carolina now and would love to have you visit!
Call us. Come by. Stay awhile, or longer. We’ll sit in our kitchen and watch the squirrels and birds.
References https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/Amplified-Bible-AMP/ https://hymnary.org/text/be_thou_my_vision_o_lord_of_my_hearthttps://epicpew.com/17-breathtaking-quotes-saint-patricks-confessio/ Cahill, Thomas: How the Irish Saved Civilization. Anchor Books. 1995. NY.NY. http://www.scielo.org.za/scielo.php?script=sci_arttext&pid=S2305-08532014000200004