Denise writes,
A testimony. July 10,2025
It all began when I was born. I’m 61 now, so maybe I should have requested more time…
Actually, though there are many parts to my story of being found and rescued by God, the salient ones that rise to the top are the ones I will share with you today. Woven into these parts is my life’s song. As you also know,
A monk named Dallan Forgaill wrote the Irish poem, “Rop tú mo Baile” which was translated by Mary Byrne in 1912, and became the song, Be Thou My Vision. These ancient words, first penned, or plumed, somewhere between the 6th and 8th centuries, run in my mind and spirit like a current throughout my days. It is no exaggeration when I say that at any moment of the day, if I stop and listen, underneath the other noises of life, I will find my soul at any place in this song.
Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art;
Thou my best thought by day and by night,
Waking and sleeping, Thy presence my light.
My parents were very young and poor when they married. My Mom was raised in a home of alcoholism and other painful realities. Yet, even from such a beginning, she was still a source of sunshine and great love in my life. My Dad was a college student, an idealist fighting for the causes that exploded in the 60s. He had been a leader in his church, but as he joined the fight for civil rights, he found himself abandoned by his congregation. In response, he abandoned his faith.
When I was born, my Mom was 19, my dad was still in college. They raised me to see the worth and rights of others. In fact, my Dad carried me in a civil rights march when I was just a baby. For this perspective that my parents gave me, I am ever grateful. Still, the perspective did not include seeing God, in fact, my Dad was antagonistic towards anything connected with God.
Yet, very early in my life, I was captured by the inexplicable beauty of the world around me in all its complexity and I knew at my very core that there was a loving Creator who was calling my name and that I wanted to know this Creator. As a little girl, not knowing how to engage in dialogue with a remarkably powerful and creative force, I started by writing letters in my mind and have just kept going. “Dear God, Thank You for the pine trees and the mountains. You are real. I just know it. Teach me about You…Thank You for the simple dandelion that blows away by our breath.”
God heard me and saw me, and somehow I knew He did, and I knew He was good, and I knew He loved me, even though I knew so little about Him.
Since my early years did not include affiliation with any religious institution or belief system, growing up in a predominant religious community in Utah, my lack of affiliation made me a prize for my peers to win. They took me to functions at their ward house. I didn’t fully believe the things I was seeing and hearing, but I did greatly appreciate the community and some connection to the God who spoke to my heart – The God I longed to understand more of. After several years of attending events and the occasional church service, the bishop came to my house and told my Dad it was time for me to be baptized. My Dad told the bishop, Heck no.” But he didn’t say “heck.” When I arrived at school the next day, rather than being the prize catch, I was cast off.
I thank God for His faithfulness, for in that time of ostracization, I had only Him, and He was all that I needed.
Be Thou My Wisdom and My true Word
Thou ever with me and I with Thee Lord.
Thou my true Father, I Thy true daughter
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one.
If I didn’t believe what the people around me believed, I knew I wanted to discover what I did believe. So, I read the Bible, beginning with Genesis through to Revelation and have continued reading Scripture every day, every year of my life. Thanks be to the Holy Spirit Who leads us into all wisdom and truth! He has taught me of His Triune nature, my un-payable need for a Savior and His incalculable mercy in the payment of my debt.
I feel it is good to say that I have no anger or bitterness toward my neighbors. God has given me His great love for them and a peace about it all. I would rather have been sorting out the Truth with the Holy Spirit to lead me, than to be misled by any group.
It was around this time, I was 8 years old, that I vividly remember being in the back of the pickup truck as we drove through Yellowstone National Park. I was looking up at the grand and glorious heavens and saying in my heart to God, “I know this didn’t all happen by chance. I know You are real. I want to know You and love You with all that I am.” To the cry of a young girl’s heart, the heart of The Creator of All responded with love and grace. It is unfathomable to me!
As I continued to seek to know Him, I felt I needed some sort of teaching from trained leaders. I found one person in my grade who was not of the predominant religion, and asked if I could go to church with her and her family. Once again, God proved Himself faithful. This was a vibrant community of people who were deeply in love with Him. The Truth of redemption through Jesus The Messiah settled into every part of my being and as an outward profession of the Truth that led me, I was baptized when I was 16.
During this time, God in His great kindness gave me eyes to see a diamond in the rough- a young man named Lloyd. Through years of courtship we grew to be best friends and grew to know and love God, and each other, even more fully. That’s another story, still I want to include here that as a result of seeing the transformation Jesus wrought in Lloyd, my brother saw the reality of Who Jesus is and responded whole-heartedly. Lloyd and I were married after my first full year of college. We walked and worked through those early days just as we walk through these, with The Lord as our Shepherd, Our Delight, Our Strong Tower.
Be Thou My Battle Shield, Sword for the fight
Be Thou My Dignity, Thou My Delight,
Thou My Soul’s Shelter, Thou My Strong Tower
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my Power
In 2010, I was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. In the journey that led to that diagnosis, and in the continued walk thereafter, I have lost track of how many doctor appointments, hospital stays, needles, tubes, procedures of every sort, tests of every sort, X-rays, pulmonary infections, medication experiments and reactions, cycles of malnutrition and starvation I have experienced over the years. Would you believe that even in all of this, God kindly gave us two children? A biological miracle and an adopted miracle!!
People have wondered if my faith can be real, or if I have enough of it, because of such serious health issues. I know that God can heal me, and the truth is, He has. I have had a foot and a half in the grave several times and He has drawn me back from the pit. Still, He hasn’t chosen to heal me completely. Like Paul, I know that His grace is sufficient for me. And in my weakness, His strength is magnified.
Having CF, with all of the life-altering complications that go along with it, is not something I would ask for or get in line for, but it is something I believe The Lord has given me; therefore I choose to embrace what He is doing in me through it. With every experience, I have seen facets of His character that I would not have known otherwise. His word is my manna. His joy, my strength. His presence, my life-source.
I am grateful for reminders of how fragile I am, for in them I am repeatedly reminded that I am not alone in this fragility. Sometimes I feel His presence so strongly that it is palpable. Sometimes, it is a faint reassurance. Always He is with me.
Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise
Thou My Inheritance, now and always,
Thou and Thou Only first in my heart,
High King of Heaven My Treasure Thou art.
In his Confessio St. Patrick wrote, “That is why I must shout aloud in return to the Lord for such great good deeds of his, here and now and forever, which the human mind cannot measure” (Confessio, 12 ).
Among His great deeds are that my Dad called me one day to tell me he had “come home.” I will never forget those words. And now he is Home, and I am grateful beyond words. We just celebrated 80 years of my Mom’s life and I thank God for the way He lives in and through her. God expanded our family with Mark, my Mom’s husband, and Jo, his wife, and we are ever grateful for them.
Lloyd and I celebrated 41 years of marriage and, aside from the gift of the love of Jesus in my life, the love of my dear husband is the greatest love I have known. Our children, Jeremiah and Elena, continue to amaze us, each with their gifts, and each bright joys in our lives.
As huge as it is to fathom, my tiny, simple life has known the touch of the most powerful and eminently compassionate Being in the universe.
High King of Heaven, Thy victory won
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun
Heart of my own heart whatever befall,
Still be my vision, O Ruler of all